previous posts
Free time.
Where my head is.
Bad Poetry Night: inspired by Roy.
Embarassing moment of the day.
Santa take note.
Censored verse.
Angst & Graphite.
Please pass the Neosporin.
Pi Day.
Kung Fu PJs.

Monday, April 17, 2006

In the ether.

Where have I been? Around, just not so inclined to blog lately. Nothing new to report, really. It's kind of comforting to have this steady pace in life. No surprises, no deviations from routine.
It's maddening as well, occasionally. I don't want to end up one of those cubicle residents of the library tech department who tacks pictures of faraway places to her walls in the harsh light of the fluorescent light above. What I once thought was an exciting job - the life of a cataloger or acquisitionist - reveals itself, after a tour of an ivy university's library system, to be quite a downer. The conservationist, on the other hand, lives bathed in beautiful white light for the purpose of selecting perfect color matches to repair or preserve ancient texts, maps and manuscripts. Ancient, like a thousand years old. That's what I want to do.
Apparently, that's what a lot of people want to do, and there just aren't a whole lot of multi-century manuscripts lying around in need of care. After our tour, every single classmate of mine exclaimed with glee, "I want to be a conservationist/preservationist!" I'm fairly certain there are not enough jobs available to make our dreams come true.
Though as I sit here and try to talk myself out of dreaming, I glance around my walls. How many of my classmates have collected ancient vellum documents? A slab of skin, inked by hand, and signed with two tabs for wax seals - this is what sets my heart aflutter. Leaves from a book printed in the 17th century, marked in red by the hand of someone whose great great grandchildren have long since died - do my classmates own these things, carefully tucked away and brought out only on rare occasion to stare at and admire?
I feel like part of me was meant for that kind of work, but then I wonder how common those feelings are. Certainly there is not enough work to go around for everyone who tries to get into it, what makes me so special? Why don't I just settle for something else I'd enjoy? Something easier to obtain?

These rambling thought tangents I sometimes ride are boring, I'm sure, to anyone who isn't me. Please accept a rather insincere apology.
posted by hilary at 6:09 PM |


Blogger Tedd said...

I'm not one who normally quotes Nelson Mandela, but when it's appropriate...

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, talented and fabulous? Actually who are you not to be?
You are the child of God. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it is in every one.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear our presence automatically liberates others."

4/17/2006 11:44 PM  
Anonymous Mom said...

Tedd and Nelson Mandela are so right. When you feel that kind of passion, you bring a light to the work that every employer hopes to see shining in your eyes. You will stand out and probably never be passed over. You clearly have a calling. The heavens have opened and lit your path. All you need to do is follow it with trust and gratitude.

4/18/2006 8:59 AM  
Anonymous jim burke said...

As an archivist I can tell you that there are states, in the south, which are in need of conservators/preservationists. Think hurricane/flood recovery. BTW, the work in these institutions is NOT glamorous and even though you may run across a manuscript that is several hundred years old the usual material is stuff(the tech term)from gov't offices that might be fifty to a hundred years old and very mundane as well. But, as the old african communist has said, don't be afraid of your own power. Let your reach exceed your grasp.

4/18/2006 9:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ooohh...and if you moved to the South, you would be closer to me. Let your Light SHINE sister!


4/18/2006 10:31 AM  
Blogger Shosh said...

hi! if it really sets your heart aflutter, you'd be selling yourself short if you didn't go for it! It sounds like it holds magic for you and as such it holds promise.

4/18/2006 11:38 PM  

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